So this priest tried to add me on Linked-In. He was 60-odd years, balding with grey temples and sporting a benign laugh not unlike the one the new pope shows off. He worked in a rural community, a long way from the suburb where I reside. So it was puzzling why he thought I might be interested in him as a ‘professional connection’.
Perhaps he stumbled upon one of my profile pictures on Google and – spurred on by the colour of my skin – was convinced I could be another joyful African in his growing army of black catholic souls.
Perhaps he had acquired a sexual appetite for Nubian boys during his time in the Congo?
Perhaps he was just in the habit of adding just about everyone to his Linked-In profile because he was gunning for a Guinness World Record: most connections on a social network site by a priest?
Perhaps if I hadn’t been so curious as to answer his request, I would now not be tied in a damp cellar, on all fours, naked and soaked in gasoline, surrounded by fat men in big pointy white hoods with huge flaming torches, led by the most unlikely KKK-member you could think of.
Did you enjoy this story? Then why not try the 101 stories in 300 words or less in YOU’RE GETTING SLEEPY, THE HYPNOTIST’S APPRENTICE YAWNED.