75. The guy with the trapezoid hair

The guy with the trapezoid hair stares at his reflection, trying to glimpse the back of his neck.

“Is it really thàt bad?”

“It stands out,” his friend replies honestly.

That’s not the answer Billy wants to hear. He is getting nervous. Tomorrow he will attend the most important meeting of his life. That’s why he let a barber trim his hair instead of doing it himself. But the trim-line, from the middle of his ear to the bottom of his neck, is unnaturally straight, giving the lower end of his back hair the appearance of an inverted trapezium.

“They’ll be in front of you when you give your address,” his friend reassures him. “No-one will notice.”

Billy isn’t convinced. He whips out his smartphone and snaps a picture of the botched barber job. Self-consciousness about advancing grey hairs is already crippling him emotionally and now this.

“O God!” he gasps. “I’m a walking geometry lesson.”

He looks to his friend for comfort but gets a blank face. There are only so many things one can say to ease trapezoid anxiety.

“They’ll mock me,” Billy hyperventilates. “They’ll mock me and withdraw funding. I’m gonna kill that barber. I’ll kill him!”

This bar stool conversation goes on for the next two hours. Billy slowly losing his mind. His friend gradually losing his patience and the will to live.

But as the evening wears on, and his friend’s annoyance turns palpable, Billy finally comes to terms with the situation.

“You’re probably right,” he sighs, slinging his arm around his friend. “No-one will care.”

“Nice presentation,” the investors will say the following morning. And Billy will pretend not to have noticed their constant snickering.

When next he looks in the mirror a flurry of fresh grey hairs has sprouted.

Fuck…

 

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Did you enjoy this story? Then why not try the 101 stories in 300 words or less in YOU’RE GETTING SLEEPY, THE HYPNOTIST’S APPRENTICE YAWNED.

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3 thoughts on “75. The guy with the trapezoid hair

  1. John says:

    trapezoid hair … ah, yes… i’ve had one of those haircuts before…

  2. hakariconstant says:

    I haven’t been to my old barbershop or had a haircut for 10 months… damned trapezoid deathtrap…

  3. b00kreader says:

    “There are only so many things one can say to ease trapezoid anxiety.” This line is hilarious! Well done with the ending too.

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