83. You don’t like Sophie’s fiancée, do you, hon?

“You don’t like Sophie’s fiancée, do you, hon?”

He didn’t so he nodded. Helen put her wristwatch on the bedside table.

“But he seems such a nice boy. He is polite. He has manners. He even kept calling you sir when you told him Pat would be equally fine.”

“That is precisely why I don’t like him,” said Pat. “Don’t you find him… too perfect?”

“Is there such a thing?”

Damn right there is. Pat dunked the false teeth in the water. His tongue licked his upper gums.

“I think you’re just being grumpy. Your little girl is growing up and you can’t stand it.”

“She’s 29, Helen, for God’s sake. I should be relieved she’s finally getting wed!”

“So what’s your problem then?” Helen let the comforting warmth of the blanket embrace her.

“I can’t quite put my finger on it. But something is off. Did you watch him eating his asparagus?”

“He’d never had it before.”

“Exactly! Who has never eaten asparagus in this day and age?”

“Now you’re being silly, hon.”

Pat kissed his wife goodnight and put out the bedside light. He didn’t say a thing for a full minute. But he just couldn’t keep his opinion to himself till the next morning.

“You know, there are times you’d swear he was from another dimension.”

He was. And marrying the most eligible girls in America was just the first phase in his race’s plans to enslave Earth.

 

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10 thoughts on “83. You don’t like Sophie’s fiancée, do you, hon?

  1. Eva Acharya says:

    What a paragraph to end this on! Love it.

  2. LOL…that’s too cool! 🙂

  3. Danny James says:

    Always trying to guess the endings on your stories. Didn’t see this one coming AGAIN!

    DJ

  4. hakariconstant says:

    I’m 27 and I’ve never eaten it! It turns your piss green, and makes it smell even worse! Also, it’s a vegetable! The only vegetable I’m comfortable eating is soylent green! lol kidding… or am I…

  5. Jashaél says:

    This is too funny. XD Nice one, sir.

  6. rosellezubey says:

    There’s that twisty ending again. I really love it. Good job!

  7. Gardner's World says:

    Intriguing ending! Wonder if Sophie suspects anything about him?

  8. Dorian says:

    So fun!!! I love reading these. Thank you for writing diligently!

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