105. Reporting anything unusual won’t hurt you

Reporting anything unusual won’t hurt you, read the Tube poster. So I tapped the girl next to me on the shoulder and told her the most unusual thing I knew: if you eat a polar bear’s liver you will die.

Unfortunately the girl needed a couple of seconds to remove the iPod plugs from her ears. She therefore only caught my final three words. Alarmed she sprayed mace it into my eyes before kicking me hard in the nuts.

It took me three passing Tube trains to recover. As I stepped onto the next train, bemoaning my blind faith in a poster slogan, a fellow traveller asked about my reddened eyes. I told him my story and stated my intention never to report anything unusual again.

“Why does a polar bear’s liver kill you?” the traveller wanted to know.

“Apparently it contains so much vitamin A that our digestive system cannot cope,” I said.

This time reporting the unusual fact didn’t hurt me. Alas the same couldn’t be said for the traveller’s obnoxious wife, who a few weeks later sank her teeth into some exotic chopped liver, lovingly prepared by her grinning husband.



Did you enjoy this story? Then why not try the 101 stories in 300 words or less in YOU’RE GETTING SLEEPY, THE HYPNOTIST’S APPRENTICE YAWNED.

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17 thoughts on “105. Reporting anything unusual won’t hurt you

  1. seanfallon01 says:

    I really, really, really like this story.

  2. Brieuse Bernhard Piers-Gûdmönd says:

    That is just really good… wow…

  3. dawnhosking says:

    Love the twist

  4. ajungleofwords says:

    This kicks major ass. Awesome!

  5. katiemay34 says:

    Oh this is excellent. (PS. Is it true about polar bear liver?)

  6. seanfallon01 says:

    Reblogged this on The Equiatic Bind and commented:
    Love this story so much. So weird and original and unexpected.

  7. g. says:

    I’m equally impressed with both the story and the trivia. Who knew?

  8. Primarily adapted for eating seals. Great story!

    P.S. – I don’t recommend eating seals for the same reason.

  9. dog-eared & foxing says:

    I just blew through about 20 of your stories… I was going to comment on the ones that I liked, but I LOVE EVERYTHING HERE. So, let me make a blanket statement that this concept is fantastic and your stories are even more so. I so look forward to reading your archives and can’t wait to read what you’ll post tomorrow!

  10. I certainly wasn’t expecting the ending here. Very well written

  11. Entertaining AND educational. I wonder where the husband found polar bear liver…

  12. jitko3 says:

    brilliant. 🙂

  13. Haha…this is great. :0) You manage to wrangle a lot of feeling from the reader with so few words. Brilliant, totally.

  14. […] stories pit an unusual fact about polar bears against a post-apocalyptic friendship. Which of the two do you prefer? Let me know by filling in the […]

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