Tag Archives: health

312. You won’t go gently

“You won’t go gently”, the doctor tells the boy. “It will be hell.”

He’d go into details, but the kid would never fathom it. He’s just too young. Not that the disease cares. It has taken his parents. Soon it will take the boy.

Though the virus is decimating the population, the kids are still best off. They will last three weeks, sometimes a full month. But how comforting is that when bursting ulcers will eventually destroy you from within as your glands swell and cut off all oxygen to your lungs?

Yet not a frown is seen on the boy’s face. His gaze doesn’t look at the doctor at all but towards the window. And he smiles.

When there is nothing left to salvage, what is there to do but laugh it off?

The doctor gestures in the motley gang behind the glass.

“Send in the clowns!” he yells.

In the boy’s eyes, they’re already there.

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116. It’s all between the ears

“It’s all between the ears,” the physician said.

Vilmos gave him a funny look.

“I did not just invent my headaches . I am not insane!”

“I didn’t say you were,” the physician replied. “Here, take three of these before going to bed tonight.”

The physician handed over the prescription to the dumbfounded Vilmos, who by now was seriously contemplating a second opinion. Still, that night he popped three pills, just as the doctor had ordered, and soon found himself in the land of Nod.

As the clock struck twelve the physician entered the house. Vilmos was still soundly sleeping. As planned. The physician didn’t bother to drag his victim to a table. He would operate on him right here in the bedroom with some crude cranial instruments from his medicine bag.

He cut off the top of Vilmos’ head and scooped out the brain. The physician, an habitual gambler, had long suspected that Vilmos suffered from a rare affliction called Midas disease, which turns  some bones of your body into gold.

And indeed, as he gazed into Vilmos’ empty skull, the yellow glow of bony 24 carat nuggets enlightened the physician’s face.

They were right where he had expected to find them.

 

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Did you enjoy this story? Then why not try the 101 stories in 300 words or less in YOU’RE GETTING SLEEPY, THE HYPNOTIST’S APPRENTICE YAWNED.

Available at the Createspace Store, at amazon.com, amazon.co.uk or any other Amazon store in your territory.  E-book is also available.

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111. Welcome to the Poison Squad

 “Welcome to the Poison Squad!”

Dr. Wiley congratulated Ethan on the noteworthy apprenticeship that had now made him the youngest member of the group by a country mile. The teenager could not conceal his pride. The daily stool samples, the sweat collections, the incessant pulse-taking. It had all been worth it. The Poison Squad was the most famous food gang in the States. The girls he’d win over just by being a member…

“Eager to see what’s on the menu today, I suppose?” Dr. Wiley winked while making his way to the basement of the Agriculture Office where the midday tasting was about to start.

“I’m not going to lie to you, son,” said Dr. Wiley. “You are here because your predecessor keeled over from eating too much copper sulphate. Got to his liver, then his kidneys. It’s banned as a food additive now of course. Though I have heard they are considering using it as a pesticide.”

Ethan knew the dangers. He was not put off by them. So he spooned in the apple sauce, slurped the soup, feasted on the turkey and savoured the rice pudding. All with a healthy, ever increasing dose of saltpetre of course.

The same routine was repeated each morning, midday and evening. Sometimes Ethan got sick, sometimes he got really sick. Most of the times he just enjoyed a hot meal, the unpleasant metallic taste notwithstanding.

It was a tale he would often narrate to his grandchildren, who were all ears as he told them he and his colleagues where the pioneers who had made sure the food they ate would be safe.

“Now who’s up for the yummy spinach your granny has prepared?” Ethan would ask. He’d get disgusted faces every time. And he’d wonder if he had wasted his career.

 

cover

Did you enjoy this story? Then why not try the 101 stories in 300 words or less in YOU’RE GETTING SLEEPY, THE HYPNOTIST’S APPRENTICE YAWNED.

Available at the Createspace Store, at amazon.com, amazon.co.uk or any other Amazon store in your territory.  E-book is also available.

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