Tag Archives: heist

270. The impenetrable safe

The impenetrable safe was recovered from the bottom of Lake Erie, door closed and lock unpicked, but with all contents missing. It had gone missing three days earlier, from the floor of a Chicago bank of some repute.

The police had received a phone call at five past midnight about the curious break-in. Nothing in the building had been disturbed, not even the unbalanced stacks of value papers on the counter. But where once stood the most uncrackable safe of the United States, now only a sea of white tiles and a huge void remained.

It would have been impossible for the thieves to carry the safe outside without demolishing half of the building or using big machinery, for when the bank came into being, the safe was installed first and the bank built around it. The vanishing safe was a conundrum, alright. But to find it at the bottom of the lake elevated the mystery to a whole new level.

The best detectives in the world could not crack the key to the enigma, nor could safety experts, mystics or TV viewers spurred on by huge rewards the bank promised in tacky commercials. For months the news dominated the headlines and it even inspired a tacky but wildly successful cash-in movie that proposed all kinds of improbable scenarios.

Meanwhile, in Venice, Italy, Carl Jurgen Sonnenfeld paid the bill of his afternoon espresso with a newly minted gold coin. Only he know how the safe disappeared, was emptied and ended up in Lake Erie.

He also knew that as long as the enigma was out there, nobody would observe that the safe contents were being spent in plain sight.

Correctly gauging the public’s appetite for impossible puzzles, the thief lived a long, unnoticed life.

 

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Did you enjoy this story? Then why not try the 101 stories in 300 words or less in YOU’RE GETTING SLEEPY, THE HYPNOTIST’S APPRENTICE YAWNED.

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17. Vernon walks the wall vertically

Vernon walks the wall vertically.

It wasn’t the answer he’d expected. For weeks now the gang had exhausted their minds about how to take the final hurdle in the heist they had planned, and now this new girl comes along – someone Pete vouched for but about whom he had quite some reservations – and she proposes they ignore the laws of gravity? Was he supposed to take this seriously?

Let me explain, she went on, before embarking on some kind of physics lecture that to his ears was more science-fiction than science-fact. It involved Newtonian loopholes, Einsteinian paradoxes and algebra that boggled the mind. He soon found himself tuning out of her exposé and turning his attention to the girl herself.

Her flawless green eyes lit up every time she wrote down a diagram on the blackboard. And her breath intensified as her explanation gathered speed, causing her perky breasts to heave rhythmically in her silk top. Legs were top-notch as well: smooth skin and not a knobby knee in sight. As he ogled her top-down his eyes paused for a minute to appreciate her perfectly formed ass, wrapped in a skin-tight black skirt. Once every few seconds she turned her head to her audience, her chestnut-brown shoulder-height hair briefly flicking across her swan-like neck.

And that, she said – abruptly awakening him from his daydream – is how we’ll do it.

He crossed his right leg over his left one and replied: what makes you think your silver tongue has convinced me?

If my tongue can’t convince you, what can, she coyly answered.

Damn, how he desired to fuck her brains out.

 

cover

Did you enjoy this story? Then why not try the 101 stories in 300 words or less in YOU’RE GETTING SLEEPY, THE HYPNOTIST’S APPRENTICE YAWNED.

Available at the Createspace Store, at amazon.com, amazon.co.uk or any other Amazon store in your territory.  E-book is also available.

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