286. The beard must go

The beard must go, his girlfriend told him. She was finally going to introduce him to her parents but not without making the necessary changes.

He loved her but was hesitant to shave. The beard had been with him longer than she had. In some ways it was the longest, most meaningful relationship he’d ever had. Did he really want to give that up for her?

Like he had given up meat?

And alcohol?

And most of his old friends?

Staring at his reflection in the bathroom mirror, a can of shaving foam in one hand and a razor in the other, he made up his mind.

The beard will stay.

His girlfriend must go.

 

Did you enjoy this story? Then why not try the 101 stories in 300 words or less in YOU’RE GETTING SLEEPY, THE HYPNOTIST’S APPRENTICE YAWNED.

Available at the Createspace Store, at amazon.com, amazon.co.uk or any other Amazon store in your territory.  E-book is also available.

225. She does yoga and calls it a sport

She does yoga and calls it a sport.

I sit in front of the TV and watch the football. I’d call that a sport as well.

She doesn’t.

But as long as she allows me to be her downward dog, I’ll let it slide and worship her like Messi.

 

Did you enjoy this story? Then why not try the 101 stories in 300 words or less in YOU’RE GETTING SLEEPY, THE HYPNOTIST’S APPRENTICE YAWNED.

Available at the Createspace Store, at amazon.com, amazon.co.uk or any other Amazon store in your territory.  E-book is also available.

159. I first kissed her when I was eleven and she was ten

I first kissed her when I was eleven and she was ten. It was all very shy and cutesy and twee. Eyes closed, two lips locking, no tongue of course. No spark either. We called it love but was it really anything more than liking each other’s company? A simple sealing of a close friendship?

 

Read the rest of the tale and 100 more stories in 300 words or less in YOU’RE GETTING SLEEPY, THE HYPNOTIST’S APPRENTICE YAWNED.

Available at the Createspace Store, at amazon.com, amazon.co.uk or any other Amazon store in your territory.  E-book is also available.

79. You are the best thing since sliced bread

“You are the best thing since sliced bread,” he said, kissing her.

“Better than television?”

He loved the small screen. It  was a wonder of engineering, a groundbreaking device that had changed the world and the way we communicate. And its invention had occurred after the advent of sliced bread – they checked: bread had first been sliced in 1926. So in all honesty he could no longer say his girlfriend was the best thing since sliced bread.

“You’re the best thing since television,” he corrected, once again kissing her.

“Better than the polio vaccine?”

Well, no, obviously not. The polio vaccine was way better than she was. It had diminished the amount of suffering in the world immensely. His girlfriend, so far, had not.

“You’re the best thing since the polio vaccine then.”

“Better than the hybrid car?”

He pondered for a moment, then just said “You’re the best”, even though by now he realised she wasn’t.

 

Did you enjoy this story? Then why not try the 101 stories in 300 words or less in YOU’RE GETTING SLEEPY, THE HYPNOTIST’S APPRENTICE YAWNED.

Available at the Createspace Store, at amazon.com, amazon.co.uk or any other Amazon store in your territory.  E-book is also available.